London, United Kingdom, October 29, 2010 --(PR.com
)-- 1. Be friend your fears, go easy on yourself.
Sometimes we can be too hard on ourselves, excepting things to be perfect. Fighting your fears can be a lot more draining than simply accepting and befriending them.
The more you fight, get angry or frustrated about something the more power you give it... Try not to make a meal out of it as you could end up making your fears bigger and worse than they actually are. Accept them, imagine your fears are a side dish, an accompaniment to your main life, but not the main thing in your life. Minimise their power.
2. Learn from them – Everything in life is here to teach us something.
There is a lesson to be learnt in everything. Imagine your fears were friends of yours sitting across from you at a dinner party, if they could talk what might be the positive lessons they have to share with you? Are you afraid to speak in public because the last time you did it people practically fell asleep, or you didn’t get all the points across or no one could hear you or your heart was beating so much that you felt physically sick. Instead of moaning about what went wrong look at the lessons learnt.
Did you do you enough prep before your presentation, did you explore different ways to make it engaging, did you use reminders or slides etc. to help keep you on track, did you make it interactive, did you practice breathing or EFT techniques to help calm you down. What can you learn from your fears? Maybe your fears are calling you to take action, action that you have been avoiding, action that may benefit you greatly in the long run.
3. Question them – go to the source, is the fear a smoke screen to something else?
Is the fear real or is it a learnt response, a barrier, protection to stop us taking risks, making mistakes or possibly showing our vulnerable side. Are we focusing on how much pain we perceive the fear will bring us? Sometimes our fears represent something completely different, maybe we have developed a fear around something we don’t enjoy doing and actually need to stop it or do less of it. Maybe our fear is based on a habit, past bad experience or something we picked up as a child. A child sees a parent running around screaming when he or she sees a spider next thing you know the child has a fear of spiders. Is it real or was it learnt? A child grows up in a financially tight and stressful environment then as an adult works himself sick from fear of not having enough. Fear can come in all shapes and sizes, some more obvious than others, so question them.
Mary Daniels, AKA "The Life Chef" is an established personal life coach and performance coach life. with a wide range of clients varying from charities, professionals, students, Executives through to FTSE 100 listed companies, as well as Prison and school mentoring. Mary delivers workshops and talks both in the UK and overseas, and is in the midst of writing the first in a series of personal and professional coaching recipe books, providing powerful food for thought.
Mary Daniels is available for interviews, comments and commissioned articles. If you would like to arrange an interview or require any further information please call
T 020 3239 9338
M 07976 926 080