St Louis, MO, May 01, 2013 --(PR.com
)-- Ever wonder how to bring up new ideas in the bedroom? St. Louis Marriage Therapy, LLC announces “Sex, Wine, and Chocolate,” on June 28, 2013, a fun, interactive event that delves into conversation about getting the sex you want! Tickets can be purchased at http://sexwineandchocolate.eventbrite.com/.
“Sex may only be 10% of your relationship,” says Angela Skurtu, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and owner of St. Louis Marriage Therapy, “but if it’s not good, it can become 90% of the problems in a relationship.” Skurtu’s current research focuses on sexless marriages, which are defined as ones in which a couple has sex less than 10 times a year. To understand the complexity of a sexless marriage, it is important to first address what makes for a healthy sex life in a long-term relationship. A whole array of life circumstances, including children, moving, grief, illness, weight gain, and medication can all impact desire or performance.
“Good sex long term involves a variety of factors: playfulness, eroticism, excitement, adventure, closeness, love, and respect,” says Skurtu. But difficulties in sexual desire or performance can lead to tiptoeing around delicate subjects, leaving one or both partners feeling shame, frustration, and eventually withdrawing. We know that being fully engaged with the occasional mind blowing orgasm creates a good sexual experience for either party. So where do couples go wrong?
“One of the factors I have seen in my practice is a breakdown in communication-either lack of a sexual language entirely or a sexual language that is critical rather than encouraging. When communication difficulties are connected with shame, I see relationships that lead toward sexless marriages,” says Skurtu.
Sometimes shame enters the relationship because people have been given very shameful messages about sex from an early age. This leads to difficulty creating a positive relationship with sex later in life. Another factor that contributes to a lack of communication and shame is when one of the partners struggles with a personal problem that is linked to sex. These problems may include erection problems, pain during sex, problems achieving orgasm, a disability that affects sexual function, or a life event.
“For a couple struggling with one of these events,” says Skurtu, “Not only will they avoid sex, they will avoid talking about the issue or feel extreme shame when their partner finds out about the problem.” This leads into an avoidance pattern where each partner keeps information to themselves, rather than bringing up a topic that is completely embarrassing. When sex becomes a problem in a relationship, it is often a complex problem for couples to resolve on their own.
Skurtu created the event Sex, Wine, and Chocolate http://sexwineandchocolate.eventbrite.com/ for a date night or a girls’ night out. Individuals who attend will learn valuable tips for how to keep the romance in their relationship long term. The highlight of the night is the anonymous question and answer section. Individuals are given index cards where they can write anonymous questions for Skurtu to answer as a part of her presentation. No subject is too taboo!
“I am always surprised at how detailed the questions get. It is a great opportunity to get answers about sex without worrying about what other people will think of you,” says Skurtu. “If you want a better sex life, don’t just wait: do something about it. Everyone deserves a happy, healthy sex life.” And what better way to rekindle your romance than with a little wine and chocolate?
For more information about this event or to purchase tickets, contact Angela Skurtu at 314-973-7997 or visit St. Louis Marriage Therapy at www.TherapistinStLouis.com.