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Robert E. Hornberger, P.C.

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Long Island Divorce Lawyer Claims "Divorce Selfie" Trend Shows Divorce Does Not Have to be Traumatic

Long Island, NY, October 08, 2015 --( Long Island, NY, Long Island Divorce Lawyer and Divorce Mediator Robert E. Hornberger, Esq., claims a new social media trend demonstrates that divorce has lost the stigma it once had and is becoming a more common and less traumatic event in couples lives.

Recently, both the New York Post and New York Magazine reported a new social media trend for couples finalizing their divorces: the “divorce selfie.” The divorce selfie is a photo taken of the divorced couple, by the divorced couple, that commemorates and announces the end of their marriage. These photos are being posted on social media for family and friends to view, and often frames the divorce in an amicable and optimistic light. Hornberger sees the trend as an indicator that divorce can indeed be a positive life event for some couples, and can be accomplished amicably and without the stigma once associated with the event. “In fact,” says Hornberger, “it speaks to the benefit of cultivating resiliency and optimism at the prospect of moving forward from a painful situation.”

As one couple poignantly captioned their photo: “We have respectfully, thoughtfully and (honorably) ended our marriage in a way that will allow us to go forward as parenting partners for our children, the perfect reason that this always was meant to be, so they will never have to choose.” For Hornberger, this raises the question of whether an amicable divorce can be something to celebrate or, at least, share openly and confidently.

Hornberger admits that these couples are extremely lucky to have amicable splits, and that a pleasant parting of ways is not always possible, however, he stresses that the trend represents the potential for those involved in a divorce to experience a sense of strength and empowerment from making a major life decision that they feel would best serve the health and happiness of themselves and their loved ones. While the emerging “divorce selfie” trend might cause some to shudder, it points at the possibility that divorce is indeed sometimes for the best, and that there can be hope and optimism for the future following the end of a marriage.

As an experienced divorce lawyer and divorce mediator practicing on Long Island, Hornberger believes that the ability for couples to divorce amicably is facilitated by more couples making the decision to choose divorce mediation, as opposed to the more contentious divorce litigation, to end their marriages.

“Divorce mediation is a much less stressful method of divorce than litigation,” Hornberger said. “With mediation, couples are in charge of the terms of their divorce and they work together to develop solutions that work for them and their children, now and in the future. Alternatively, litigation tends to encourage a more contentious competition to try to ‘win’ the divorce.”

Hornberger encourages divorcing couples to consider mediation as an option for mitigating the stress associated with divorce. “For couples who cannot themselves reach an amicable agreement, a divorce mediator can provide a supportive forum in which the couple can make decisions about how they will divide important rights such as marital property and child custody,” Hornberger said. “In truth, a skilled mediator can provide couples with hope and empowerment in a neutral setting, encouraging direct communication and a practice of putting the best interests of the family ahead of the attachment to the idea of ‘what I want.’”

The process of divorce mediation starkly contrasts with an adversarial divorce proceeding, which can often be time consuming, costly, and stressful. Mediation also allows the parties to retain some control over the outcome of the divorce, rather than surrender that power to the courts. Especially for those who will be co-parenting after divorce is finalized, it is important to set a cooperative tone for an ongoing family dynamic. “In that regard,” Hornberger said, “mediation is an effective way to make the transition from husband and wife to ex-spouses and/or co-parents.”

Hornberger believes that while mediations may not always result in a social media-worthy photo opportunity, it is a helpful tool that can allow couples to prepare for life after divorce in a supportive setting. While marriages that end often end for good reason, the ability to look optimistically toward the future ought to be cultivated during and after divorce.

About Robert E. Hornberger, Esq., P.C.
The divorce and family law firm of Robert E. Hornberger, Esq., P.C. represents clients throughout Nassau County and Suffolk County on Long Island, NY in all domestic relations matters including divorce, divorce mediation, collaborative divorce, orders of protection, prenuptial and postnuptial agreements, child support, child custody, child visitation, and spousal support. With offices conveniently located on the border of the two counties in Melville, NY, the attorneys and legal staff at Robert E. Hornberger, Esq., P.C., are well equipped with the resources to successfully address any issue that may arise in a Long Island matrimonial or family law matter. The firm provides a free initial consultation and offers convenient and affordable payment plans where necessary. For more information, visit or call 631-923-1910.
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Robert E. Hornberger, P.C.
Robert E. Hornberger

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